It’s been a while since I’ve posted my last entry. For the past few months, I'm experiencing depressions from my career as an Analyst... But, I''m back and happy that my left-side brain is well-functioning again, thanks to the movie of Sarah & John Lloyd- My Very Special Love. I found an inspiration again -- to write what comes from my heart !... Well, I’ve been thinking this evening about being known and loved. How everyone longs to love and be loved. It's heart wrenching to think about my unrequited love, yet my thoughts wander that direction...
Best of friends. He found a friend in me, but i found special love on him. He once teased me, but because of shame, i didn't admit it. But, what if i did? Oh i don't know, the thing is , i didn't admit that i liked him and i don't have the courage...
Being around with him feels like a moth close to fire, the joy of loving, yet, the pain of being not loved in return. I can't accept that I almost fell in love with him. I feel like I'm trapped in some lonely love cell. And, so I gradually avoided him, out of sight = out of mind!
Surprisingly, I met someone else. But t'was a very short relationship, and another story.
Wouldn’t love be so easy if everything was cut and dry? If we promised to love and never leave and then kept those promises in the end. Or, if those we choose to love, would choose also to love us in return...
draft written, August 8, 2008.
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